{ dirah } · xviii · ♈

To most people, I am a walking megalith of boredom and lameness, but when it comes to the right people, they can never get enough of me. I have a strong intimacy of writing and mobile-photography.

Others: Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram.
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Written on Tuesday, 24 December 2013

It is our wounds that create in us a desire to reach for miracles. Yes, I do understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me horrendous pain. But, mere understand never chase away the hurt.

It does not call upon the sun when dark sky have loomed over me.
The rain must come and wash away the dust that hurt my eyes.

I had hurt so much for this day. I am broke and I thought I have limited it. The fact that I don't want him to see me desperate over for him caused him to get the path away from me. We hurt so much because we have lost a part of ourselves. If we have loved much, we must have given much also and when everything's over, we feel as though we have lost everything. But, that's wrong. Now, everybody knows that I'm just a bum without you by my side.

You don't care, you're so unaware. I'm left to deal with pain, constant helpless cry to sleep.

I live precariously through my characters. So, I want to be loved passionately, live vibrantly, love unconditionally. Be someone he would die for - explore unimaginable possibilities from all warps of life. And, to never forget those that held their hands when life got scary. Wiped my tears away after a broken heart. Helped him back on his feet when others let him down. I want my characters to have family, friends and a lover.

New flash. Everything is not the way we used to be anymore. Everything is gone now. Yes, everything. Except the colours that cover the black and white of me. I was too late to show that my feeling is honest and I love him, still.

My feelings never gone, forever.

He has had enough of me that caused him pain which the pain I feel right now. I can't speak. Blunt.